With the rash thinking that is my life I decided to follow Donald to the city in search of the elusive soy nog. This is all Julie's fault. A little prestory...After a long day spent in the city with my mother and a longer drive home with her en route to my great aunts funeral visitation, we finally stop for international sushi night at Mark and Julie's house. Sensing my need for a drink I am coddled with a soynog and rum which sounds gross and healthy and vegan but is really yummy. I know my eggnog. I know this is some good shit, and its available from the superstore. Fast forward 3 weeks and no eggnog has been sited at any stupidstore. But alas Julie come through yet again on Wii and regular sushi night and hands off this imitation, nutty, dry mouthed, diarrhea inducing nog. Thanks girl. I know it wasn' your fault, but you probably had a giggle of the thought of me dying a little on the can.
Back to the present day. I load up the dogs...yes we got another beagle...this one prefers to eat cat shit and dead mice, and go visit my mommy. I drag her along to Halifax where the quest begins at planet organic, home of the hippie with loads of money. nope they are all out but should be getting some tomorrow. Please someone tell me how that helps now? I hate that answer. From the cashier I do get her homemade version which I will try but I want the boxed nog for simplicities sake. We travel onward where mother accosts the poor asian fellow at the chinese grocery in her attempt to make stir fried pork form a package which she can't read the directions. She says to him "you can read chinese can't you"...Pop back into the car for a whirl down quinpool road in search of heartwood bakery for some lunch. There is nowhere to park. I attempt to pull in front of sign that says no parking but mother is screaming we will get towed. I opt instead for the lot that says if you park here and don't shop at our high end rug shop will will take your car away. We get out and look at the front of the shop...too rich for my blood ( plus the motherinlaw is already getting me a rug from sears)and continue on to our lunch. At heartwood we both have the rice bowls with vermicelli instead, and eat our tofu and kale with gusto. It was okay, i could make it better and it certainly wouldn't be $30 bucks...no dessert no drinks just water folks!! We mosey on back to the car and mom is lamenting her lack of smokes when we notice a big sign on my drivers side window. a quick look down and here is something attached to my wheel. It's yellow and looks dangerous. They have arrested my car and I can bail her out for $78.00 bucks plus tax. Merry @#$%&* Christmas. Mother says "I told you so", I am returning her gift.
