Confessions of a Tuppervillian: Breakfast of Champions

Confessions of a Tuppervillian: Breakfast of Champions: "Saturday night's all right for a fight and boy did we go down hard. Attending our third Quiz Night, a popular way of raising money for vari..."

Breakfast of Champions

Saturday night's all right for a fight and boy did we go down hard. Attending our third Quiz Night, a popular way of raising money for various causes here in Bridgetown, and hosted by the lovely Jim and Jo of Layzee Squirrel http://www.layzeesquirrel.com/ fame, we came to defend our title. The last fundraiser was for local animal rescue group CAPS http://www.caps-annapolis.org/ and our team consisting of me, Julie, Nahleen, Shannon took home first place, a sad bunch of prizes as well as bragging rights. Teams this time were not the same as we had some new members, Ernest and Melinda and a friend of Mark and Julie, Kristina. Picking lettered slips of paper from a bag divided the group into three teams. Team 1 - the Feminauts me, Nahleen, Melinda and Kristina. Team 2 - Number 7 Mark, Donald and Shannon...boy did we feel sorry for her and lastly Team 3 - Toomuchtestosterone Julie, Ernest, Laurie and JC. The evening consisted of a meat chili dinner and roll, ice cream and brownies and much later sweet popcorn. Gross popcorn but Melinda managed to polish off our whole bag. Having been forewarned of the meat intentions of the evening we brought snacks of chips, dip and Shannon's lovely from the garden platter and a wheel of brie. We polished it all off before the game even started! I believe there were 14 teams in all and from the look of things we had it in the bag, but up front sat former champions and longtime players Team Scotiabank. Letting them know if I lost I would be switching to Royal seemed to have no effect. As I did the rounds inspecting each team and garnering what I could from their clothes as evidence of brainsmarts, I happened upon a table of a friend. "Hello, How are you?", he called out to which I replied "Ready to lose?". There it was. That ugly "thing" I keep deep, well, barely covered, actually on the surface, "thing" I like to call my competitive streak. Thus the evening began. Six categories later we knew we were at the top, definitely top three. The category was announced and my stomach plummeted. Something about the car running out of gas and the questions all turned out to be wilderness survival related. I would not survive in the wilderness. I can barely walk my dog on the front lawn at night because I can hear the coyotes. Needless to say I think the rest of my team would have died along with me, if not for their lack of skills, than for making decisions to live or die when camping as a group. I now know not to drink my own pee, sleep on a hill top and camp near water and wood and if at all possible boil some water and cook something. As the last paper was handed in and marks were tallied we jeered at our friends teams, laughing aloud at Team 7 and Team Testosterone as they had members quit early re: the babysitter form hell and left them with two and three players respectively. Reading last team to first Team 7 came in 7th...weird..Team Testosterone in 3rd and The Feminauts in 2nd losing by 1 point to those Scotiabankers. Had a mild brain aneurysm on the inside that no one could see and smiled beautifully for the rest as we picked up our prizes. I will wear the VON fanny pack with pride but probably end up giving it to my Dad. Brunch was set for the next day at Nahleen's to welcome Kristina to our strange little grouping of friends and if she wasn't turned off by my losing hissy fit the night before then she might actually come and visit again! As we feasted on the cheesiest scrambled eggs known to man, pan fried potatoes, beans, fresh peaches and monstrous sized blackberries and baked banana french toast we recounted the night's highlights. Entire cups of wine spilled on answers (not Nahleen's!!) a rehash of survival techniques, Donald sleeping with various men..this was a sidebar... and the looks from the old people as I was frisked for my Blackberry at Julie's bellowing request, to level the playing field...how quickly she forgets how it helped her last time. All in all a great fun evening and we are looking forward to our next tournament!


Perhaps with different team members..ahahaha just joking....

The Giving Tree

I suspect most of you if asked to describe me in one word wouldn't say generous. I think you would say funny or maybe foodie but possibly mean or selfish could creep in there depending on who you are and what I've done to you. I don't have a problem with any of those words. In fact I would say mean tops the list but I like to think it goes hand in hand with funny, some might then change their word to bully and well I might have to agree with you but then I'm going to come find you and beat you up! Actually I think I'm a generous person. I freely give my time, food, money, love & possessions to many. Do I expect anything in return? Usually. Does that make me an Indian giver...so not politically correct to say that anymore I'm sure... or do I just want to be assured that I'm not being taken for granted. I'll go with the latter. But on the topic of being generous I would like to point out a great site that allows you to give while still maintaining your Scrooge like status. It's called isearchigive and it's the new to me site of googling while donating to a listed charity of your choice. While searching the internet for your favourite youtube video or that article you missed in the paper, you are donating a penny for every search this website conducts on your behalf. A penny you say, bah humbug. But let's be honest, Scrooge didn't get rich picking up pennies and storing them in that big glass bottle of whisky you drank in Cuba, but if he searched the internet say 10 to 20 times a day to find new clients to steal from, he would have donated $73.00 bucks to his charity without any hardship on his wallet. Can you think of a better way to feel good about yourself and maintain your image of penny pinching bottom feeder? Now get out there and change your homepage and start giving back.

I like to give to my friend Julies' animal rescue group, Atlantic Small Dog Rescue
 or just type in the name of a charity or keywords to find someone worthy of your pennies
http://www.isearchigive.com/

Canoes and Tacos

It started off innocently enough. A gift certificate won at a really lame activity fair. Canoe or kayak rental in the pristine waters that is the Annapolis River. What a great way to spend Donald's 33rd birthday. A day of fun turned into a two and half hour death ride. Thanks Julie and Nah. So thus began the reenactment of several would be canoers, some non athletic folks, a cockeaser..teaser..she denies that one and one expert boat plan builder. Ten people, three canoes, most built for two, one built for one and a kayak without a skirt...and a partridge in a pear tree. We launched from a spot about 7km from home and fought over who got to go in the boat with Cap'n Laurie. Julie, cockeaser...ahahah and Ernest, movie maker extraordinaire, got the pleasure. They also were in the one person watercraft which was mere inches from taking on water. Lifeboat 2 held Shannon, or G&T as some like call her, our Southern Belle Melinda who refused to ride with her husband Ernest and slow and steady Mark. The Bluefin Special held me in the middle and power couple Nahleen sans red wine and hubby JC with some sort of Tilley hat on. Lastly in his bicycle built for one came birthday boy Donald in the kayak. The first part of the journey to tacos was the worst. By far the widest piece across and white caps rolling like the ocean surf we knew this would be trouble. Gripping my canoe for all it was worth I held steady and Nahleen navigated and JC annoyed her by paddling on the same side.

A few waves lapped into our canoe leaving me sitting in a 2 inch puddle for the rest of the trip. Ahead in what we now refer to as the bathtub of the sea, Shannon fearlessly paddled on while Melinda spoke of such things like cotillions and the DAR to keep their minds off the inevitable sinking and Mark coolly tried to knock our boat off course. Donald meanwhile zipped and zagged over the water like a dragonfly, showing his prowess for maneuvering the big water. We couldn't see Laurie and his ship, but could here the faints sounds of Julie's rhythmic voice...stroke, stroke, stroke. An hour later we all seemed to be within shouting distance of each other and thus began the taunting or from our boat the french taunting. Much was made of the driving skills or lack of, from my french mates as Melinda stepping up to the plate grabs the paddle and does this wide flung at an attempt to move the canoe. It looks like its working and I hear grumblings in my boat. There is no way for me to paddle, I'm the only thing keeping us from going into the river so I tell myself, plus I don't want muscles like Popeye and Nahleen. Another hour later Donald zips up next to us and I complain that I would like to dock the boat and walk to the road and hitchhike home. He believes me and sails over to Ernest, Laurie and Julie who promptly dock their boat as they are close to the shore and what's this...they pull out beers and start drinking. As we and Shannons tub are on the other side of the river we decide we would rather get home first and drink more beer and eat tacos and with renewed vigor we paddle furiously for about ten minutes thinking that home is just around that bend. Two bends later Mark has lost the his cool, Shannon is crabbing that they drank all of her beer and probably hitched home, Melinda is sweetly singing Row Row Your Boat and my butt has developed its own version of wrinkly hands...wrinkly butt. I can't move for sitting on another wrinkle and cry out in pain from time to time. Nahleen and JC have stopped talking to each other and I must gently duck as she attempts to swat his head with her paddle that is actually more oar shaped and makes all the difference in the world when navigating these waters. As we near home, trees start to look familiar, houses are peeking out of the trees that belong to neighbours and we start to move faster towards shore. We get bumped from behind and see easy going Mark grinning like a man possessed shove us off track to take the lead, but wait remember our beer guzzling friends and Donald who have disappeared for the last half hour? Here they come with Ernest in the front, dipping and pulling his paddle through the water like he's parting the Red Sea and slowly gaining on us. Screaming at my boat mates to "paddle effing faster they're going to win" Julie and friends pull ahead and touch shore. We lost, Shannon and crew in third and lazily paddling up Donald in fourth. We get out, share one beer per canoe as the other beers have mysteriously been emptied and get ourselves stuck in the mud flats. This isn't the wharf. We still aren't home.....
To be continued on the other blog

GOLDY

For any of you who have had the pleasure of driving with me...hey you aren't dead yet!...I have some sad news. Goldy the 1997 Saturn Wagon is gearing up for her big trip to the rusted scrap piece of metal crap gas guzzling smoke billowing oil chugging trunk flapping gas cap missing wiper blade defective dented door two hubcap remaining mouldy dog food stained floor tape playing place we like to call car heaven. I can't take it anymore and don't think i should have to either. It's a death trap with a driver who murdered her first squirrel yesterday and I want a fresh start. I'm thinking a Subaru Forester....husband wants a mini van. WTF is wrong with him you may ask, I still don't know.
ps- car in picture is not mine but a random stolen pic off the interweb

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE BASTARDLY

So I put in an offer on the building where the Eggplant Cafe will be...one day. It got rejected. The seller seems to believe they will get full asking price by waiting out the season, the real estate season that is. So I will re-offer at the end of August. Fingers crossed and she definetely ain't getting full asking price from me! So in good news I have someone who will be sharing the space with me, she shall remain nameless but I'm sure you've visited her shop and have some fabulous finds in your home hand picked by the owner herself. She will be taking over the front room of the building and selling unique and hand created pieces for the home. Probably mostly my home, that's where all my profits will be going.... Henry and Doozer have been behaving themsleves of late, we have all taken up shuffle jogging and they pull me along in my quest to be svelt for my big 30th birthday this year, barf. I have started to compile the recipes I will be using for the resto and have started planning the menu which will be ever changing depending on the local veggies and seasonal food available. Keep you posted on that too! And if you happen to find yourself with an extra $500 bucks and would like to invest in me, I will be hosting a party for women who would like to give me that money in exchange for a "credit card" of the same value to be used in the shop within a year. Sound good? It sure will taste good!!

May showers bring vegetarian restaurants

I realize most of my blogs can be in the negative. Bad shit seems to happen to me more than most, and it is usually funny. I almost die everyday, be it falling down in a miniscule slope in my backyard and twisting my ankle facedown in a two inch puddle of hose water that I didn't put away....getting sunburned to death at an auction...whatever. So I watched a fabulous movie last night called Julie and Julia. Having read bothe books and owning Julia Childs memoirs I starrted to wish I could write like that and get sent food by mail and commiserate my kitchen failings...they are few and far between I might add...and take on a worthy project like that. I know some people don't think that cooking all the recipes in a cookbook constitutes achieving anything but her recipes sometimes have more than 30 ingredients in them!!!and take 2 days to prepare. When was the last time you spent that kind of time and effort on your guests? For me, it's like every other week but I am the exception to the rule. I devour cookbooks. I love to read old ones where the margins are written in with tips and do's and don'ts, new fresh smelling just waiting to be smeared with something you've just made from that new recipe. I love to cook, and that's why I'm announcing it here that I am going to open a restaurant. A vegetarian restaurant in he middle of farm country, surrounded by old fashioned meat and potato people. I'm crazy and hungry and can't wait and as soon as I figure out how to put a countdown button on this thing I willpost that too and you can be a part of my journey. Whoever you are.....